黑洞社区

25 July 1975

First, to a Bovis party in July 1975, to celebrate the completed refurbishment of London鈥檚 historic 10 Trinity Square 鈥� the former home of the Port of London Authority opposite the Tower of London. Despite the balmy weather, guests were invited inside the grand 1922-built building for a Medieval-sounding 鈥渃ut and carve party鈥�. The piece de resistance was a large table loaded with huge slabs of beef, pineapples, celery and grapes, borne into the party by four chefs.

The column read: 鈥淭he turning point of the evening came as the chefs negotiated a particularly awkward corner, and I was dismayed to see the contents of the table spilled on the floor. Following the beef鈥檚 hurried replacement on the table, I was equally concerned to see it being rushed out of the room. Compliments to Bovis and its caterers however for applying their restoration expertise to the food and returning it minutes later in its former splendour.鈥�

2 July 1976

The unlikely and terrifying story of a 鈥渄evil-may-care quantity surveyor鈥�, Tom Davies, of Beckenham, Kent, and his lucky escape from a botched parachute jump. After his first parachute wouldn鈥檛 open, Davies just managed to operate his reserve parachute as 鈥渉e crashed through some telephone wires with a flash on his way to an indecorous but fortunate landing鈥�.  West Kent Hospital said later that a few broken ribs were suspected. I concluded: 鈥淚鈥檝e heard of QSs coming down hard, but really!鈥�

19 August 1977

This was perhaps the most comprehensive attempt I鈥檝e ever made to round up where all the industry鈥檚 grandees had gone on holiday. Mischievously, I noted that bosses at the RIBA had all gone on holiday 鈥� to the Scottish Highlands and the West Country among other places 鈥� despite the imminent publication of a Monopolies Commission report on architects鈥� fee scales, an observation that would land me in hot water (see below). The various construction ministers were also away, in St Ives, Torquay, East Sussex, Bishop Auckland, France, and on a Mediterranean cruise. Tarmac boss Bill Francis was in Yugoslavia, while Taylor Woodrow chairman Richard Puttick was in Majorca. Enigmatically, Costain chairman JP Bowden was in the country 鈥渃ommuning with the cows鈥�. Only Wimpey chairman RE Smith was behind his desk and sadly had 鈥渘o definite plans for his holiday鈥�.

26 August 1977

The following week, Portland Place, however, took umbrage with the above item and said its top brass had gone to 鈥渆laborate lengths to set up contingency arrangements to call back key personnel鈥� should the critical Monopolies Commission report be published. Embarrasingly, they also politely informed me that RIBA president Gordon Graham was not on holiday as I had suggested. I confessed: 鈥淣ot only was he still on duty at practice and in presidential office, but one of the activities in which he was engaged even while I wrote was being interviewed for a feature by 黑洞社区!鈥� Hmm. Not exactly my finest hour, dear reader.

9 September 1988

Then to a very 1980s item about Irish builder McInerney and its elaborate attempts to promote timeshares in its Four Seasons Country Club in the Algarve to visiting British tourists with 鈥渁s much fervour as Billy Graham鈥�. I reported that 鈥渆very other restaurant鈥� in the area was giving out promotional material with the bill and that 鈥渉alf-asleep arrivals at Faro Airport 鈥� are given a rose and a brochure by khaki-clad girls 鈥� even at 1.30 in the morning鈥�. Sounds like sales overkill even for the 鈥楲oadsamoney鈥� generation doesn鈥檛 it?

7 July 2000

The summer of the Millennium now and an American journalist took a silly season helicopter trip over London with renowned architect Lord Foster. Foster demonstrated a canny ability to spot his own landmarks 鈥� among them the Millennium Bridge and the new HSBC building 鈥� but not those of a certain rival. He remarked blithely that he thought a residential scheme was 鈥渙ne of Richard鈥檚鈥�. Later, he failed to notice what the journalist described as a 鈥渧ast鈥� saucer-shaped disk resembling the mothership of some alien force鈥� on the Greenwich peninsula. Also one of Richard鈥檚, I think.