黑洞社区

Entente nationale

Word reaches me of some dastardly French protectionist antics. Some European nations recently berated France for trying to prop up its car industry with huge loans in return for promises not to relocate factories abroad. Now I hear that if you dust off your best schoolboy French and book tickets for Mipim via its Paris office, you can get two tickets for the price of one. No doubt some disgruntled Brits will grumble that this is an attempt by the French to keep Mipim, well, French. I very much look forward to seeing these grumbles produce results 鈥� perhaps Mipim 2010 in Torquay?

At least the trains will run on time

I hear that in Dubai construction work has finished on Trump Towers. No, not the Atkins-designed development that was put on hold last December, but the Dubai metro station for the 拢500m scheme, which has been completed ahead of many of the others on its line. The only problem is, nobody has a reason to get off there. The construction site itself contains nothing but a pile of earth, a couple of empty cranes and a typically understated hoarding carrying the slogan 鈥渙rdinary is for other people鈥�. Maybe 鈥渙rdinary is what happens when the credit runs out鈥� would have been more accurate.

A step too far?

Is Camilla Parker Bowles to perform the tango on Strictly Come Dancing? It may seem unlikely, but should this frightening spectacle ever materialise, it鈥檚 a fair bet that it will be the result of a plot hatched at the CIOB dinner. The Duchess of Cornwall, whose great-great-grandfather Thomas Cubitt was one of the founder members of the organisation, spent two hours deep in conversation with guest speaker John Sergeant at the event in London鈥檚 Guildhall last Wednesday. And as sex god Sergeant can testify, the programme is very useful for winning over a sceptical public...

Bonfire of the freebies

With BRE鈥檚 controversial Green Guide to Specification now online, we were surprised when a hardback copy turned up in the post recently. That can鈥檛 be environment-friendly, can it? A brief chat with someone from BRE then revealed that a hardcopy publication was part of the original contract with the publisher, but they did have another useful suggestion for the weighty tome. 鈥淚f fuel costs start to rise again, you could always use it as solid fuel,鈥� said our source. Now that鈥檚 what I call inflammatory material.

A cunning disguise

A man bearing the name-tag 鈥淜evin Whittle鈥� confused the crowd at the Institution of Civil Engineers鈥� awards do last Thursday with his remarkable resemblance to Mark Whitby, Ramboll Whitbybird鈥檚 chairman. On closer inspection, it was indeed Whitby schmoozing over wine and quiche 鈥� despite the badge on his chest claiming otherwise. The engineer blamed his eyesight for the 鈥渕istake鈥� and left early. Was this a brazen attempt to seek out trade secrets incognito or does Whitby just need new glasses?

Don鈥檛 panic! Don鈥檛 panic!

I鈥檓 told the spirit of the Second World War 鈥� or at least of Dad鈥檚 Army 鈥� surged through a BRE meeting in Watford last month. British attendees of 鈥淧assivhaus: The Backbone of Zero Carbon?鈥� derailed plans to make the German building standard synonymous with zero-carbon housing. 鈥淭he whole event smacked of orchestration by BRE who have an association with Passivhaus,鈥� a indignant informant told 黑洞社区.

But fear not, apparently Blighty triumphed in the end. 鈥淭he group reacted in the best of British,鈥� said our man proudly. 鈥淭he whole focus on carbon was challenged and effectively replaced by energy efficiency and conservation.鈥� Doubtless we shall fight them on wind-turbine-clogged beaches, too.