黑洞社区

(Inter)serve yourself

In February I cast a rather sceptical eye over a report that claimed local government could save 拢7bn by managing its property better - sponsored by Interserve, a company willing and able to help them 鈥� for money. Well, the PR team at Interserve has won again: the outsourcer has 鈥渄iscovered鈥� that 40% of local authorities don鈥檛 have proper plans in place to deal with impending budget cuts. Troubled by the findings, chief executive Adrian Ringrose thinks that the 鈥渇uture is going to be defined by partnerships between the public, private and third sectors working together鈥�. What a helpful guy.

They think it鈥檚 all over

Alas, Ellie Reed, construction鈥檚 representative on The Apprentice, has been shown the finger by Lord Sugar. The director of recruitment firm A&E construction was fired last week for being - in Lord Sugar鈥檚 eyes - largely anonymous. A little harsh we thought. Ellie had always been one to call things as they are, remarking at least once that her teammates efforts were 鈥渂ollocks鈥�. In an interview on The Apprentice鈥檚 after-show 鈥淵ou鈥檙e Fired鈥� Reed said the job hadn鈥檛 been for her. It was easier to deal with bolshy builders than media-savvy business fanatics, she concluded.

Through the eyes of a child

What would site-safety posters look like if they were designed by kids? I hear you ask. Well, speculate no longer: the National Federation of Builders has run its yearly competition for primary school children to see how they would warn people of the hazards on construction sites. However, this year the NFB has advised schools to calm their entrants down after receiving a wide array of horrifying entries, featuring a disproportionate number of detached limbs and one that bleakly read: 鈥淒on鈥檛 Die鈥�. If you think you could design something that passes for the work of a child, or know any budding artists, applicants have until 17 June to enter.

The world鈥檚 most-loved couple

One of my spies was recently dispatched on a mission to investigate Brazil鈥檚 infrastructure market.

It was not the extreme friendliness of almost every single Brazilian that caught his attention, nor the fact that on more than one occasion a contact had forgotten about the meeting and turned up more than fashionably late, if at all, nor the monkeys scampering along the street. The prevailing and most exotic memory of his trip, in fact, was walking into the British Consulate in Rio de Janeiro and seeing life size cardboard cut out figures of Wills and Kate in a happy embrace. Exactly the image that will win us work on Rio 2016.

Friendly rivals

Peter Rees, planning officer for the City of London, has made no secret of his joy at seeing Canary Wharf Group stick its flag in the square mile. The developer has started construction on its first scheme in the City - the Walkie Talkie tower, as a joint venture with Land Securities. Rees and Canary Wharf boss George Iacobescu spent much of the nineties at loggerheads, as the two London locations competed to house various finance firms. Rees told one of my hacks: 鈥淚 knew they鈥檇 see sense in the end! It was novel seeing George be nice to me when Fenchurch Street was on the table.鈥�

Shadowy figure

Does Labour lack a coherent strategy in opposition? When it comes to construction, the answer appears to be yes. Two weeks ago, the party informed one of my spies that Chuka Umunna would be taking over from Gordon Banks, who had resigned as shadow minister for the sector two weeks earlier. Last week, however, Umunna鈥檚 office clarified that Ian Lucas, rather than Umunna, will be shadowing the industry鈥檚 current man in government, Mark Prisk. When we tried to check this, Lucas鈥� office was only able to confirm for sure this week. Seeing as it鈥檚 only taken a month to switch shadow ministers, Labour policies for the industry shouldn鈥檛 be with us much later than, say, 2014.