This week, our undercover agent reveals why crime pays, who owns the moon, what the City doesn't want to know and what Peter Jones doesn't want you to see
Home goals
Here's a hot tip for the gamblers among you: Liverpool FC might well be relegated from the Premiership within the next few years. The shocking prediction stems from the news that contractor Birse is in the running to build the club a new stadium at Stanley Park. The firm may build splendid stadiums, but the clubs that play in them seem to be suffering from the "curse of Birse". Both Bolton Wanderers and Leicester City were relegated soon after moving to their brand new Birse-built grounds. Just a coincidence?

Finding his Waterloo
We're always being told construction should learn from the car industry; now architect Haskoll has taken the advice on board in a most unusual way. The firm worked on the new Eurostar business lounge at Waterloo station with design guru Philippe Starck, who wanted to use paint of a very precise shade of silver for the ceiling. The French maestro rejected the original paint used by terminal designer Nicholas Grimshaw for being "too yellow" and asked for something more metallic. Haskoll's project architect was wandering around London wondering what to do when he passed a car showroom full of silver Mercedes. The architect dashed in, got the name of the paint manufacturer and showed the samples to Starck, who was delighted. Fantastique!

Sloane arranger
In its refurbishment of the Peter Jones department store in London's Sloane Square, John McAslan + Partners designed a top-floor restaurant with glass walls. Diners would be able to enjoy 360° views of the capital – but the client was having none of it. Its reason?

Shoppers would be able to gaze across the Brompton chimneypots to Harrods, the store's arch rival. Instead, it wanted that particular elevation bricked up. Fortunately, the architect managed to persuade Peter Jones that customers were unlikely to abandon their food en masse and dash like lemmings the half-mile to Knightsbridge.

Hiding the evidence
Builders in the City of London should get ready for a new source of work. A few years ago, big financial institutions were getting them to install electronic displays showing share-price movements in their reception areas. Now, with share prices in freefall, they want them taken down again; one firm has already called in the builders to remove its expensive plasma screens. It seems the sight of all those plunging graphs and red numbers is proving just too depressing for City folk.

Think England vs Germany
My young colleagues on the news desk are a modest bunch and didn't want to crow about their recent exploits on the football field. But I noticed that our friends at Contract Journal have published an item celebrating their win over arch-rival Construction News at the Willmott Dixon/Harry Redknapp five-a-side tournament, held in north London recently.

Therefore, I think it only fair to point out that the ºÚ¶´ÉçÇø boys defeated both CJ and CN in the same tournament – before being knocked out by Willmott Dixon in a nail-biting penalty shootout. Bad luck, lads – but as you pointed out, it would have been very bad manners to beat the hosts.

A space oddity
We all know that PR people are barking mad, but the chaps at sealant manufacturer Dow Corning are literally on another planet. A colleague of mine is now the proud owner of an acre of land – on the moon. The title deeds, with his name on them, were sent by Dow Corning along with information on a new product. What was the product, you ask? Why, a new weatherproof sealant, of course. My colleague has no idea what this has to do with lunar real estate, but he is now the proud owner of area F-4, Quadrant Charlie, lot number 025/1601.

Can we meet in person?
Asite managing director Alastair Mellon has developed an effective method of keeping up with industry movers and shakers. He simply photocopies ºÚ¶´ÉçÇø's regular "In person" interview, phones up whoever is featured that week and books an appointment.

In recent months, he's popped in on Ernst & Young's Richard Smee, Skanska's David Fison and the DTI's Elizabeth Whatmore. His tactics were uncovered at a recent Asite networking event, where Whatmore was guest speaker. Mellon introduced her to the audience using chunks from ºÚ¶´ÉçÇø's interview – but confessed all after a couple of glasses of champagne.

The ball-and-chain gang

As ºÚ¶´ÉçÇø revealed last week, the government is planning to solve construction’s skills shortage by training ex-convicts. The news prompted one reader to leave a curious phone message with one of our reporters. The unemployed construction worker wanted to know whether his prospects would be improved if he went out and committed a crime. Of course he was joking, wasn’t he?

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