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Fallen riders

A suitably macabre tale for this time of year reaches me from Epsom racecourse, which is being redeveloped by Willmott Dixon. Apparently work was halted when workers demolishing the old grandstand got a rather grisly surprise 鈥� they discovered three human skeletons underneath the 1914 structure. After some deliberation, the police decided work could continue as, at over 90 years old, the remains were older then the statutory limit that required investigation. Just goes to show, it鈥檚 worth boning up on regulations.

Ooh, you are awful

It鈥檚 lucky Alsop and McLean sounds like the name of an end-of-the-pier comedy show, because that鈥檚 exactly what we got from the talk given by architect Will Alsop and artist Bruce McLean at the RIBA international conference in Paris last week. 鈥淭his is going to be a disaster,鈥� began Alsop before the pair aired their grievances on, variously, Dutch clients (鈥淭hey make the Scots look generous,鈥� said Alsop), McLean鈥檚 teaching skills, and good practice. 鈥淕ood practice is awful,鈥� said Alsop. 鈥淲e specialise in bad practice.鈥� After the show, a well-intentioned delegate asked if they鈥檇 appear at her firm鈥檚 Christmas party.

Words of wisdom

Duncan Kenworthy, the producer of Four Weddings and a Funeral, gave a speech to delegates at the RIBA conference about the similarities between the construction and film-making processes. Kenworthy admitted to being slightly nervous when asked to talk about construction to a roomful of architects: 鈥淭he first words that came to mind were the first 13 of Four Weddings,鈥� he said. And if you鈥檝e forgotten what they are, suffice it to say they involve the repetition of and subsequent variation upon a particularly descriptive four-letter word 鈥� coincidentally, the same word that comes to most people鈥檚 minds when talking to architects about construction 鈥�

The job from hell,

The horror, the horror! And that鈥檚 just the picture 鈥� This is budding thriller writer Michael Wickens showing off his first novel The Killing Hour 鈥� written under his pen name of Michael Saxon 鈥� to colleagues on site during his day job as site manager for fit-out contractor Morris & Spottiswood in Stockport. Apparently the story involves a man whose life begins to unravel after a series of 鈥渄ark, disturbing visions鈥� which turn 鈥減rogressively more violent鈥�. As always, any similarities between this and actual people or events in the construction industry are purely coincidental.

Fish for fat cats

The aquarium at the Grimshaw-designed Nirah centre may be one of the world鈥檚 biggest, but word reaches me that property tycoon Gerald Ronson is keen on establishing a fishy record of his own. Apparently one of the more contentious issues surrounding Ronson鈥檚 planned 246m-tall Heron Tower in the City is the construction of what would be the UK鈥檚 largest office aquarium in the building鈥檚 lobby. 鈥淚t has been in and out and then back in again,鈥� says my source. I鈥檓 sure Ronson鈥檚 hoping this doesn鈥檛 become the tale of the one that got away.

He likes Lance a lot

It seems that US cyclist Lance Armstrong owes a debt of gratitude to the boss of outsourcing firm Capita Symonds. Jonathan Goring, the company鈥檚 managing director, has been badgering colleagues to read the autobiography of the cancer survivor and seven-time winner of the Tour de France. He is so keen for people to hear Armstrong鈥檚 message that he keeps two or three copies of the book in his office at all times.