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Another fine mess

To a tour of the mass of cabling, wires, pipework and ductwork that sits in the basement of the Palace of Westminster. It鈥檚 an extraordinary mass 鈥� well, mess 鈥� of stuff that seems to have just been installed on top of each other over the years, with some pipes dating back to the 1940s. One part of the basement has been nicknamed 鈥渟ubmarine corridor鈥� because as more and more bits have been added, there is now barely enough room to swing a cat. If the revamp of parliament ever gets the green light 鈥� and the definitive vote on it is supposed to be next year 鈥� there is an awful lot of work to do. 

Form an orderly queue

My hack鈥檚 tour included a visit to the rarely seen Cloister Court which used to double up as offices in the 1980s but is now hardly ever used. The guide suggested the court, which dates back to Henry VIII times, could be turned into a quiet reflective space for the 650 MPs and the House of Commons staff 鈥� who on a typical day number an astonishing 3,500. Not sure how much quiet reflection could on with those numbers using the court. 

One part of the basement has been nicknamed 鈥榮ubmarine corridor鈥� because as more and more bits have been added, there is now barely enough room to swing a cat

Train of thought

Wates chief executive Eoghan O鈥橪ionaird lives in a place called Virginia Water. It鈥檚 rather well-heeled, as it should be given its next door to posh golf course, Wentworth, which is thought to charge at least 拢175,000 to join. When O鈥橪ionaird makes his way into Wates鈥檚 Euston office on Drummond Street, he tells my hack, the best way is to catch the train to Waterloo. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 think a place like Virginia Water would have a train station,鈥� my man quipped. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a pop-up,鈥� came the reply.

Parlez-vous franglais?

Another UK firm bought by an overseas rival: this time, Scottish QS Thomas & Adamson has been taken over by French rival Egis. Senior T&A partner Alastair Wallace admits his French is about as good as the PG Tips monkeys but, handily, his wife can speak the language. And, even more handily, his daughter is a French teacher. That鈥檚 the interpreters sorted, then.

Location location

Mace chief executive (for now) Mark Reynolds tells my hack the firm has no plans to leave its City HQ at 155 Moorgate. The firm has been there since 2012 and Reynolds says they want to stay put 鈥� despite building owner Landsec seemingly intent on redeveloping it. 鈥淭hey did put that in their business plan but they haven鈥檛 officially told us that,鈥� he says. An inkling of why they might want to comes when Reynolds admits: 鈥淚t may be the ugliest building in London 鈥� but it鈥檚 a great location.鈥�

No laughing matter

At last week鈥檚 CIH conference in Brighton, Emma Brooker, head of maintenance services at L&Q, tells my hack she had asked a colleague for any tips on doing a panel session. 鈥淵ou need a joke,鈥� he told her. Brooker replied: 鈥淚 don鈥檛 have any.鈥� Here, I believe I can help. Bloke walks into a room with a pair of antlers on his head and says: 鈥淚鈥檝e just been to a stag party.鈥� Deery me.

The bands didn鈥檛 play on

The Co-op Live, Manchester鈥檚 troubled music arena, has been racking up the publicity in recent weeks. According to research, the venue is the worst-rated in the UK 鈥� even before it鈥檚 welcomed its first customers. Some feat, reckons the boss of QR Code Generator, Marc Porcar, who added: 鈥淭he last thing we expected from such a grandiose venue is for it to review-bomb before it even opened.鈥�

Scents and sensibility

As the NLA celebrated the 10th anniversary of its annual tall towers report last week, a pal of mine in the world of development tells me that not every tall tower has to 鈥渓ook like a perfume bottle鈥�. An interesting comparison given there are some out there in that time that have caused a right stink.