黑洞社区

After a frantic journey to rectify a situation in which Halcrow and 黑洞社区 had spent 15 minutes sitting in different branches of chain bar Corney & Barrow, the first thing on the 鈥� minds was the heat of the Tube.

鈥淚 know they tell you to take water, but it鈥檚 so nagging, it鈥檚 like in winter when your mum nags you to wear a scarf,鈥� says Richard, a middle-aged man who should probably be responsible for his own woollies by now. 鈥淭hey need a proper way of cooling it.鈥�

Bob thinks he has the answer: 鈥淐hiller wagons,鈥� he announces happily. 鈥淟ike a big refrigerator on the back of the train. It pumps cold air around the Tube, so by the end of the journey it contains the hot air from the carriages. You can change it for another cool one at the end of the line.鈥�

Richard, however, quickly spots a flaw with Bob鈥檚 chillers. 鈥淲hat about the Circle line? It just goes round and round. You couldn鈥檛 change the fridge.鈥�

Bob is thoughtful. 鈥淐ircles are bad for fridges and timetabling,鈥� he says, nodding sagely.

鈥淕oing round and round means things aren鈥檛 regulated. You get bunching,鈥� says Gareth. Then a more fundamental problem with Bob鈥檚 idea strikes him. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e carefully billing this idea as yours, but you鈥檙e on Halcrow time. We鈥檙e taking part in its further development over a few beers. It can鈥檛 be your copyright.鈥�

David, silent until now, has been busy plotting his own masterplan. 鈥淭ubes act like pistons. The sustainable method is air inlets 鈥︹��

鈥淭hat鈥檚 a little technical,鈥� interrupts Gareth. He prefers Richard鈥檚 next idea: 鈥淚f you gave everyone a beer it would be alright. You wouldn鈥檛 mind being stuck for two hours.鈥�

At this point, a giant screen showing the build-up to Wimbledon kicks into action, prompting Richard to go to management to complain about the volume.

Bhavini is appreciative: 鈥淚鈥檓 avoiding sport. Blocking it out. I did feel sorry for David Beckham, though, crying after Portugal. He鈥檒l lose a lot of advertising revenue.鈥�

Gareth is pleased by Richard鈥檚 intervention, which has secured a lull in the wails of Sue Barker. 鈥淭here鈥檚 too much technology around. My stepdaughter sits on MSN with her mobile to her ear, and the house phone in front of her in case it goes off.鈥� He complains about his 拢150 phone bill. 鈥淚 listened to her the other day. She didn鈥檛 convey one useful piece of information.鈥�

For a moment, it seems Richard has a solution. 鈥淚鈥檝e heard of this scheme where you swap your children with some from a local university in term time, then swap back for the holidays.鈥� He pauses. 鈥淏ut then you鈥檇 just have someone else鈥檚 awful kids in your house.鈥�