A traditional yuletide mix of partying, heartbreak and simmering violence this week, seasoned with saucy humour, excessive punning and 鈥� hold on, where is that music coming from?

What a Luff

MP Peter Luff proved he鈥檚 in touch with yoof culture last week at a Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform select committee session on construction. The group鈥檚 chairman told the assembled crowd he thought BRE was a 鈥渃haracter from Desperate Housewives鈥�, before turning his caustic wit on the BSRIA, saying it sounded like a 鈥渄odgy foreign office posting鈥�. Obviously there鈥檚 nothing in the slightest bit funny about the acronym for Luff鈥檚 own select committee.

It鈥檚 my party 鈥�

鈥楾is the season to be jolly, although maybe Judith Armitt, the former boss of the Thames Gateway Delivery Unit, took this a tad too far on Monday night. Armitt personally invited the firms involved in the early stages of the mammoth scheme to an event in east London to 鈥渢hank everyone for their efforts鈥�. This was despite the fact that she had left her post at the Gateway agency last week. I鈥檓 sure Santa will have taken note of this tremendous goodwill gesture 鈥�


What are you staring at?

It was a laugh a minute at the Movers and Shakers annual dinner last week. Irish comedian Dara O鈥橞riain more than made up for chairman David Jennings鈥� string of howlers, but the best gag came from Liz Peace, chair of the British Property Federation. Peace told a ribald gag about the 鈥渋Tit鈥�, a computer chip that plays music through silicone breast implants. It鈥檚 a major breakthrough, she said, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Dreaming of a green Christmas

Anyone in London next Monday should steer clear of King鈥檚 Cross if they want to avoid the traffic. A fleet of 40 rickshaws has been booked to cart more than 300 people from Gleeds鈥� HQ in Marylebone to the company鈥檚 eco-friendly Christmas party at the Canal Museum. There the lucky revellers will be fed a thoroughly sustainable menu washed down with organic wine 鈥� even the crackers will be made from recycled paper. I鈥檓 sure the jokes will be 100% original though.

The same AIM

How Baqus must hate Turner & Townsend. The newly-formed QS has promised since August that it would float on the alternative investment market and only last week finally agreed a date 鈥� today. Trust T&T to come along and steal its thunder with its announcement yesterday that it plans a flotation of its own in the near future. Baqus can only hope the fact that two consultants are confident enough to be listing during the credit crunch will encourage potential investors.

Brand values

Members of the National Specialist Contractors Council need not worry that their trade body is failing to represent their interests. At its annual lunch earlier this month Graham Wren, the body鈥檚 former president, proved just how seriously he takes the organisation鈥檚 campaign to secure fair payment for its members. He lambasted guest speaker Rob Knight, head of procurement at the Olympic Delivery Authority, for not wearing his Fair Payment Campaign badge. I鈥檓 sure Knight, who holds the purse strings of the ODA鈥檚 拢9.3bn budget, took this in good humour, but Wren鈥檚 subsequent threat of using a branding iron to get the message across may not have gone down so well 鈥�

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