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Tonight鈥檚 libations are taking place in a quiet corner of Fitzrovia just days after the Olympic opening ceremony and the group is keen to have its say. 鈥淕reat,鈥� ventures Mark to get the ball rolling, 鈥渟ome odd bits - the NHS sequence - but all in all pretty impressive.鈥� Prior to Andy鈥檚 arrival, the quintet murmurs its agreement. Highlights emerge as Her Majesty鈥檚 impromptu acting debut, Mr Bean鈥檚 impresario turn and Beckham鈥檚 souped-up 鈥渃onsolation鈥� speedboat.

Eager to steer the evening onto more contentious lines, the opinion of our two non-English guests is sought. 鈥淰ery British鈥� reflects Dirk, a German, 鈥渜uirky and individualistic, very different to Beijing.鈥� Amy, an Australian was also a big fan and invites the group鈥檚 recollections of the Sydney 2000 opening ceremony. (As this is taking place before Team GB鈥檚 trouncing of Australia in the medals table, we oblige.) 鈥淚 remember Cathy Freeman carrying the torch鈥� ponders Mark 鈥渁nd didn鈥檛 something break?鈥� Antipodean sporting prowess? Different games. 鈥淭he switch to light the cauldron鈥� Amy reminds us.

锘縊lympic banter continues with an acknowledgement of the melodic brilliance of the French national anthem

A previously pensive Simon utters a single, devastating word: 鈥渞abbits鈥�. Then equally impenetrable 鈥渕yxomatosis鈥�. Simon is apparently a man of few words. Mercifully, Amy catches on first. 鈥淭here was something about rabbits at the Sydney opening ceremony wasn鈥檛 there? And Australia introduced the myxomatosis virus in the fifties to control the rabbit population.鈥� Satisfied, Simon nods, noiselessly.

The Olympic banter continues with a reluctant acknowledgement of the melodic brilliance of the French national anthem, discussion on who would win a judo bout between Putin and Cameron (Nick Clegg) and furtive speculation on the curious genetic alignment that presumably endowed Claire Balding with intimate knowledge of every sport. A brief note of conflict is ignited by disagreement over the identity of Britain鈥檚 Greatest Ever Olympian; Mark鈥檚 deployment of Google Mobile assures us that it isn鈥檛 Peter Kay.

Andy鈥檚 arrival and the advancing hours move the conversation onto to more raucous topics. 鈥淒o you remember that office trip to Seville?鈥� Collective merriment ensues, although Mark becomes strangely subdued. 鈥淎nd Mark鈥檚 club sandwich incident?鈥� Guffaws of laughter. Apparently, upon requesting a club sandwich from hotel reception at a particularly late hour, Mark was presented with what he claims was a deficient article. He then stalked indignantly back to a stunned front desk where he deposited the offending victuals and parted with the stinging admonishment 鈥渢hat is not a club sandwich, that is a ham sandwich sprinkled with crisps.鈥�

Why this level of gastronomic specification? Apparently, a penitent Mark informs us, it was all down to a friend at university. 鈥淗e always said the sign of a quality hotel was you ringing down to reception at any hour, asking if it was still possible to get some food and then being reassured that 鈥榮ir, it鈥檚 never too late for a club sandwich鈥� 鈥�.