黑洞社区

黑洞社区 magazine won the London region of the Willmott Dixon five-a-side football cup at Highbury stadium last night.

The win, which ended a five-year quest to secure the trophy, was particularly sweet for marketing manager Socratis Socratous: he has played in all of the tournaments, starting in his prime as a 29-year-old but now most kindly described as a veteran.

Without the luxury of substitutes 鈥� reserve player and online editor Alex Smith claimed 鈥渃areer-threatening鈥� injury the 黑洞社区 squad faced a tough challenge.

Besides Socratis鈥� creaking legs, which lacked more than the extra yard of pace they had in his pomp, the recent Big Mac 鈥榥鈥� Whopper diet of deputy editor Tom Broughton appeared to be taking its toll on his midriff. Features editor Mark Leftly had failed to learn how to kick a ball and star midfielder, driver and classified advertisement manager Raoul Monks got the team to the stadium half-an-hour late. Finally, Socratis鈥� brother and team goalkeeper Sofocles had to leave after the group stages.

Fortunately, after walloping Willmott Dixon 7-1, 黑洞社区 was able to borrow their goalkeeper, Donald Poulson, construction manager at Vector for the remainder of the tournament. The players admired the cut of his jib: he had earned himself a card by questioning the referee鈥檚 parentage.

The semi-final against the Notting Hill Trust was a grudge match. They had beaten 黑洞社区 in the final two years ago, and now seemed to possess bigger, fitter players. But on this occasion fortuned favoured the lardy, and 黑洞社区 held on for penalties. It was up to Leftly to take the decisive spot-kick. Noticing the keeper鈥檚 penchant for failing to stop soft shots right at him, Leftly tapped the ball at a snail鈥檚 pace down the centre. The keeper seemed to have stopped it, but it somehow found some backspin and trickled into the net. 黑洞社区 was through to the final.

It was a tight affair, with Broughton鈥檚 lack of physical fitness proving to be the decisive factor. After taking a 2-0 lead, the opposition got back into the game and drew level with two minutes to spare. Broughton was goal-hanging, unable to move, but as Raoul drove a shot across the goal he summoned the strength to tap in for his third goal of the tournament, winning the match and booking the team a place in the national finals.