Call us old-fashioned, but whatever happened to politeness and common courtesy in the workplace?
Manners isn鈥檛 a word used often these days 鈥� an occasional injunction to a naughty child, perhaps, but as a social skill it seems all but forgotten. Maybe it鈥檚 just that I鈥檓 getting older and more intolerant but, in business, common courtesy and politeness seem to be vanishing over the horizon faster than Michael Schumacher鈥檚 Ferrari.

Take this scenario. Client and engineer are having a face-to-face conversation about a tricky groundworks problem in the client鈥檚 office. The client鈥檚 phone rings. In mid-conversation 鈥� mid-sentence, in fact 鈥� he swivels his plush leather chair around, turning his back to answer the insistent ring, leaving the engineer to stand gormlessly in the middle of the room. A few things strike me about this scene:

  • No one seems to get offered a seat anymore. When knocking on an office door, the response is more likely to be a grunt and a terse 鈥漌haddaya want?鈥� rather than 鈥淐ome in, have a seat, what can I do for you?鈥�

  • The client did not excuse himself to answer the phone, or suggest that the conversation could be concluded later. Indeed, he could have ignored the phone altogether, secure in the knowledge that a colleague or the voicemail system would intercept the call. Still, it鈥檚 difficult to ignore a ringing phone. I suspect telecom companies have selected ringing tones that subliminally whisper 鈥淯rrr-gent, urrr-gent, urrr-gent鈥� even when we know that it鈥檚 more likely to be a double-glazing salesman than Tony and Cherie inviting us to dinner at No 10.

  • The client鈥檚 attitude that his engineer鈥檚 time is so valueless that several minutes shifting uncomfortably from foot-to-foot on his logo-emblazoned carpet is time well spent. Now I know it鈥檚 the client鈥檚 apparent prerogative to treat consultants like shop assistants, but I strongly suspect that the same client argues ferociously about the engineer鈥檚 fees and wants to know exactly what he鈥檚 been doing for all that time he鈥檚 been charging.

    Then there are other things, trivial, perhaps, but noticeably absent from modern life:

  • 鈥淧lease鈥� has been omitted from the vocabulary altogether or replaced by an interrogative 鈥淥K?鈥� or 鈥測es?鈥� at the end of a request. 鈥淟ook, the bloke鈥檚 getting a bit desperate 鈥� make sure that drawing goes out on Thursday, OK?鈥�

    鈥楶lease鈥� has been omitted from the vocabulary altogether or replaced by an interrogative 鈥極K?鈥�

  • It鈥檚 amazing the difference an occasional 鈥渢hank you鈥� makes. No matter that it鈥檚 part of someone鈥檚 job description to, say, sort and fold 77 A1 drawings and put them into envelopes; a simple 鈥渢hanks鈥� at least acknowledges that it鈥檚 been done by a person, not a machine.

  • Is it physically impossible for some people to apologise? There are occasions when starting a sentence with 鈥淚鈥檓 really sorry about this, but 鈥︹�� can get you much further than even the most inventive excuse (even the most sympathetic of clients can get suspicious at the third grandma鈥檚 funeral).

  • Punctuality: if a meeting is set for 1Oam, it should start at 1Oam. I can鈥檛 tell you the number of times I鈥檝e seen the architect swan in at 20 past with a casual 鈥淲e鈥檇 better start now鈥�. Of course, everyone else was just idling away the time, waiting for the most important person to grace them with their presence. Sure, there can be unavoidable delays, but isn鈥檛 that one of the reasons mobile phones were invented?

  • Holding doors open; 鈥渁fter you鈥�; a smile to acknowledge a service performed; offering to make the coffee (or pour the tea 鈥� manoeuvrings at meetings to avoid 鈥渂eing mother鈥� can be so intense that nobody gets tea at all).

    These trivial examples of the lack of consideration for our colleagues are perhaps a symptom of a wider malaise. We seem so much wrapped up in ourselves that any thoughtfulness towards others is simply alien. Thoughtlessness is becoming the norm.