Strange creatures stalk the diary page this week, including a giraffe on a desert island, a disorganised German organisation and a construction professional who made all the girls swoon

Sigh 鈥 Simon鈥檚 so hunky!
I hear that Simon Storer, the communications director of the Construction Products Association, had a string of scandalous and very public love affairs back in the seventies. Luckily for him they didn鈥檛 appear in the News of the World, but rather the girls鈥 magazine Jackie: I can reveal that he was 鈥渢he boy鈥 in all those photostory sagas. I鈥檓 not sure how many of Jackie鈥檚 faithful readers have made the leap to 黑洞社区, but if you ever thought he looked a little familiar - or that he could break your heart in a carefully crafted speech bubble - now you know why.

Gulf of perception
Chris O鈥橠onnell, boss of Nakheel, clearly believes no publicity is bad publicity. Some might be embarrassed to be faced with a roomful of tetchy Middle Eastern consultants, many of whom are still chasing their money for work they did after Dubai鈥檚 meltdown last year. But O鈥橠onnell鈥檚 looking on the bright side. 鈥淲e will have a strong brand,鈥 he said with a nervous grin, 鈥渁s everybody does know the name Nakheel.鈥 That鈥檚 okay then. Strangely, delegates at this year鈥檚 ACE Gulf conference seemed far more interested in their missing money than Nakheel鈥檚 branding when they lined up to badger O鈥橠onnell after his speech.

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Survival of the fittest
In an attempt to dispel the carbon-spewing, biodiversity-mangling vision many people have of the UAE, Abu Dhabi is trying to preserve its fauna and flora on eight 鈥渄esert islands鈥 just off the coast. Problem is, the gazelles felt a little too secure, to the extent that they became, in the developer鈥檚 words, 鈥渓azy鈥. The solution, naturally, was to ship in cheetahs and hyenas. It worked a little too well: six not-quite-match-fit gazelles became dinner a day after the predators arrived. And the bioengineering doesn鈥檛 stop there. The developer boasted, 鈥淲e brought in some giraffes as well, which aren鈥檛 particularly native, but they鈥檙e there.鈥 Who said the UAE seems artificial?
Send any juicy industry gossip to hansom@ubm.com

Bike vs bus
The introduction of London mayor Boris Johnson鈥檚 bike hire scheme means short journeys once made by bus or tube can now be cycled. If you鈥檝e got a docking station near your office this is often much more convenient. But which is quicker? We had the chance to find out when Simon Rawlinson and Graham Kean returned to EC Harris鈥 King鈥檚 Cross office after a meeting at 黑洞社区鈥檚 Southbank HQ. In true Top Gear style they raced each other up the Farringdon Road, with Graham on the Number 63 bus and Simon on the bike. Despite a technical issue with his TfL key fob, it was Simon who was first through the consultant鈥檚 revolving glass doors. We expect to see many more industry MAMILs (middle-aged men in Lycra) travelling this way soon.

The Treasury tries hash
Good to see the Treasury engaging with social media types by tweeting about the Comprehensive Spending Review, but it has been displaying newbie tendencies, like a middle-aged dad trying to impress his children鈥檚 friends. Members of the Twitterati complained it was using an over-long hashtag - that it should replace #spendingreview with #csr10, thus freeing up more of the maximum 140 characters. And we thought the coalition was trying to do away with big government.

Innsbruck calling
As you would expect of our Teutonic counterparts, the German Passivhaus standard is an uncompromising approach to low-energy buildings. But eyebrows at the Passivhaus Institut in Innsbruck were no doubt raised last week when, at the inaugural UK Passivhaus conference, technical prowess proved in short supply. A one-hour slot set aside for a video link-up with Professor Wolfgang Feist, founder of the standard and low-energy 眉ber-god, was reduced to two minutes, thanks to a dodgy Skype connection. Still, after an enforced tea break a second attempt proved more fruitful - even if there were no moving images.