黑洞社区

Atkins, it seems, does not understand the fundamentals of this event. When 黑洞社区 arrives at the Prince Regent, a mere two minutes late, the consultant鈥檚 representatives have already bought their own pints 鈥� and a fair few of them, at that.

鈥淲e鈥檝e had a busy day,鈥� explains Matthew. 鈥淪ome of us were pole dancing at 9.30 this morning.鈥� This is no joke 鈥� Atkins is fresh from a company photoshoot around what Beth describes as 鈥渁 large piece of public art on a large bit of concrete鈥� somewhere near its Regent鈥檚 Park office.

This structure, whatever it may be, has a number of poles, around which the team had to strike a pose. 鈥淲e all adopted a pole,鈥� says Hannah.

鈥淪ome more than others,鈥� interrupts Matthew, with an accusatory glance in Beth鈥檚 direction.

The guys went for a Reservoir Dogs-style tableau rather than a re-enactment of Showgirls, but the incident seems to have reawakened a peculiar ambition in Paul R. 鈥淚鈥檇 like a pole in my house,鈥� he says. 鈥淚鈥檝e wanted one ever since Ghostbusters.鈥�

On the theme of busting things, conversation wanders to the topic of Prince Harry in Iraq, the front-page story on many of the papers strewn around the pub.

鈥淚 think it鈥檚 heroic,鈥� declares Beth.

鈥淭he Duke of York went to the Falklands,鈥� adds Paul R.

鈥淭hen went out with a porn star,鈥� chips in Matt. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 be really disappointed if you were in the army and looked like Harry, though, with all the snipers.鈥�

Paul F lets out a raucous laugh. This, apparently, has nothing to do with snipers bagging the wrong redhead, but has been prompted by a feature in one of the papers on what celebrities would look like without their hair.

鈥淭he Queen looks like a Matt Lucas character!鈥� 鈥淭hat鈥檚 another royal commission gone,鈥� says Matthew, shaking his head.

Lucas and his Little Britain partner David Walliams were apparently spotted at this pub by Atkins a couple of weeks back.

鈥淭here鈥檙e always celebrities here,鈥� says Matthew, unconvincingly. At least it explains why he鈥檚 spent a good half hour pointing out fashionably dressed women and asking Paul R if they鈥檙e famous.

Then, as if on cue, Danny Baker walks in. Admittedly, he looks quite dishevelled and is hardly A-list, but Matt is triumphant. 鈥淚 told you!鈥�

Point proven, he heads to the bar. In a last-ditch attempt to turn the conversation to industry topics, a discussion is begun on the pitfalls of public inquiries, but this is swiftly curtailed once Matt returns with one pint too few.

鈥淲here鈥檚 my beer, more to the point?鈥� demands Paul R. 鈥淟et鈥檚 have a public inquiry into that.鈥�