黑洞社区

On such a balmy Thursday evening, it鈥檚 hardly surprising that half of the team at Dovehouse Interiors are keen to get away from their desks and into a beer garden. But as the eighth chair is pulled up, and everybody realises that the only way to get heard is to shout the loudest, our table begins to attract some stares, shrugs and eye rolling from fellow drinkers.

The Dovehouse team is being particularly loud and passionate about Hips 鈥� and not the curvy, childbearing kind.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a complete nightmare if you want to sell your house,鈥� moans Darren.

鈥淚t鈥檚 another thing that people have to think about,鈥� Sophie cuts in, drawing on her own experience. 鈥淚鈥檝e just bought somewhere and I am sure it鈥檚 totally inefficient energy-wise. But I could afford it so I went for it and didn鈥榯 worry about the rating.鈥�

鈥淏ut is that because you don鈥檛 have a choice, thanks to house prices in London?鈥� asks Brian.

Sophie is mid sip and can鈥檛 respond so Brian continues: 鈥淲hen you come to sell it, though, you鈥檒l be in a difficult position.鈥� 鈥淵es,鈥� agrees Sophie, 鈥渂ut I can鈥檛 afford a new house and, I鈥檓 sorry, but old houses are just not very energy efficient鈥�.

Darren then decides that it鈥檚 not so much down to what you can afford, but what your other half wants 鈥� well for him anyway.

鈥淚t wouldn鈥檛 matter what was the most energy efficient when it comes to my wife. She could walk into the least energy efficient property, but if she loved it, that would be it. It wouldn鈥檛 matter what I said 鈥� she鈥檇 say 鈥榖ut it鈥檚 so pretty, I like it, I love it鈥� and sooner or later I鈥檇 have to give in.鈥�

As the men round the table laugh in agreement the women begin to have a separate conversation about the regrouping of eighties band The Police. 鈥淒id you see the pictures?鈥� asks Christine. 鈥淪ting was doing that same jump that was pictured back at some old concert when they started out.鈥�

鈥淚 think it鈥檚 all rubbish,鈥� pipes up Ross. 鈥淚 hate The Police.鈥� He follows this with a joke referring to the actual police force. Unfortunately he appears to be the only one who gets the gag and after we鈥檝e all exchanged confused glances we move swiftly on, leaving him falling about laughing in the corner on his own.

As the drinks flow, everyone becomes more animated, particularly Ross, whose arm movements become increasingly dramatic and unpredictable. Somewhat inevitably, this ends badly, with Darren鈥檚 drink sent hurtling into his lap. 鈥淐heers for that mate,鈥� he says to Ross, as he surveys the aftermath. 鈥淭hat鈥檒l make the journey home even better.鈥�