黑洞社区

So round the corner to the Hope Tavern. After a few seconds we notice a loud noise from the other side of the pub. It鈥檚 a worker from the nearby Smithfield meat market who has clearly been here a while. He鈥檚 trying to pull the flower from someone鈥檚 lapel and shouting without using recognisable words. It鈥檚 an uneasy atmosphere and probably would have made for an interesting evening but Dean鈥檚 seen enough. 鈥淣o, come on, let鈥檚 get out of here,鈥� he鈥檚 the first to say.

Round the next corner in The Fence we鈥檙e soon sitting down and onto the subject of unwanted Christmas presents. Gary kicks off in impressive fashion: 鈥淚 asked my wife for an X-Box a couple of years ago and I got a duffle coat.鈥�

鈥淎t your age you鈥檇 probably get more enjoyment out of a duffle coat,鈥� says Chris from the other end of the table, which prompts a grudging nod, but Gary hasn鈥檛 finished. 鈥淎nd this year somebody gave me a full box-set of chocolate Lynx.鈥� He doesn鈥檛 know who because his grandson ripped the paper off all the presents before anyone could get to them.

鈥淒oes that mean you鈥檒l come to work smelling of Bourbon creams?鈥� asks Richard.

The meat market worker is pulling the flower from someone鈥檚 lapel and shouting without using recognisable words

Martin can top that. 鈥淢y unwanted gift was squirrels in the loft. I鈥檓 chasing them all over the place, which is actually better for me than the Wii Fit I got for Christmas.鈥�

He has a cunning plan. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 say how I鈥檓 going to get rid of them but it involves a bag of nuts and a gun.鈥�

Emma says she got a box of wine that had a puzzle to crack before she could get at it, which took her three hours. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 be pretty disappointed to find a bottle of Blue Nun inside after all that,鈥� says Richard.

Given that we have here a good cross-section of markets, we take the opportunity to go around the table and get marks out of 10 on how bad things are 鈥� 10 being 鈥淒aily Mail bad鈥�.

I can鈥檛 say how i鈥檓 going to get rid of the squirrels in the loft but it involves a bag of nuts and a gun

Mark (leisure and refurb) gives it six or seven, saying commercial refurb is 鈥�(touch wood) pretty strong鈥�. 鈥淚 think you mean three or four,鈥� says Dean, reminding him that 10 is the worst. Lucky the boss is on hand.

He鈥檚 followed by Gary (small projects) who awards six or seven and Richard (data centres) who gives five or six, adding: 鈥淚 want to be in hotels and have a three or four like Mark.鈥� Chris smiles when we come onto the retail market, which he calls 鈥渧ery, very tough.鈥� He says: 鈥淚鈥檇 say eight.鈥�

鈥淲oolworths was one of our clients,鈥� begins Gary. 鈥淎ctually, I bought an advent calendar from them just before Christmas. Problem is, the windows were boarded up.鈥�

鈥淏oom boom. We鈥檙e here all week,鈥� says Richard.