黑洞社区

Stride Treglown (or Strides as they like to call themselves 鈥渂ecause it鈥檚 easier to say on the phone鈥�) like a good time. They鈥檝e even brought photographic evidence: one image depicts some of the braver members of the practice dressed up as Dad鈥檚 Army. Appropriately enough Chris, the director, is Captain Mainwaring. We also have a 007 and the two gay cowboys from Brokeback Mountain. Hmmm. It鈥檚 an interesting mix.

鈥淭his is the sort of thing we do to keep up interest in the office,鈥� says Chris. But how do they get any work done if they spend half their time dressing up and playing with Photoshop? 鈥淲e do go to the pub quite a lot,鈥� says Michela to cries of horror from her colleagues. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important the office has a work and social life.鈥� 鈥淚f it鈥檚 not fun, it鈥檚 not worth doing,鈥� interjects Chris, who has definitely stopped sounding like the good captain..

Simon is grumbling about the beer, or lack of it. This hostelry doesn鈥檛 serve bitter because it鈥檚 pretending to be a wine bar. But it isn鈥檛 a wine bar; in fact it鈥檚 nothing like any watering hole I have ever been in. From the outside it looks like a strip joint with matt black walls and matching awnings. Inside it鈥檚 a weird mix of gilt framed portraits, frilly lampshades, violent flocked wallpaper and a neon sign saying 鈥渄ance cloakroom鈥�.

Since I鈥檓 with a group of architects I ask what architectural style this decor is in homage to. 鈥淓clectic boudoir,鈥� says Samantha. 鈥淢ix and match,鈥� says Michela. 鈥淕ok Wan鈥檚 living room,鈥� says Eleni. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 look at that lampshade without thinking of Only Fools and Horses,鈥� says Chris.

The barmaid has got ZH written on her T-shirt 鈥� 鈥淚s that Zaha Hadid?鈥� asks Ray. 鈥淭hat means they will need some acro props,鈥� says Chris. My pen twitches. 鈥淔or God鈥檚 sake don鈥檛 write that down; we鈥檙e trying to be inclusive here,鈥� he shouts in a panic.

鈥淭here鈥檚 a pub called the The Three Stags across the road and it鈥檚 got three real ales on draught,鈥� says Simon. Off we go.

The Three Stags is buzzing, but closer inspection reveals most of the drinkers are pensioners on an outing, which give the place the feel of a National Trust tearoom on steroids. 鈥淒o you come here often?鈥� I ask.

鈥淚f you come back tomorrow it鈥檒l be full of beautiful surfing dudes,鈥� says Chris. Um, why is that? 鈥淭here鈥檚 a backpackers hostel over the road,鈥� explains Chris.

At least we can get a pint of bitter here 鈥� but that isn鈥檛 any consolation for Michela. She is drinking lager because nobody outside Italy can mix a proper martini. 鈥淚t鈥檚 easier to get a contractor to follow the specification than get a barman to serve a proper one,鈥� she sighs.

Coming from an architect that is a pretty damming indictment on the licensed pub trade 鈥�