黑洞社区

鈥淯rgh, that鈥檚 such a bloke thing!鈥� she cuts in. 鈥淚sn鈥檛 it though,鈥� she demands, turning to me. 鈥淒o you read on the toilet?鈥�

She has a point. 鈥淣ope,鈥� I say, and we turn to our remaining (male) companions for confirmation of their gender鈥檚 habits.

The Sonnemann Toon crew have arrived early and are ready for their second round by the time I arrive at the Queen鈥檚 Head and Artichoke, Regent鈥檚 Park.

鈥淲hy is that, I wonder,鈥� Cressida muses, still pondering the bathroom tendencies of the stereotypical male.

鈥淚 prefer the bath if I鈥檓 honest,鈥� Jonathan, the new boy at the firm, announces. 鈥淎ctually, I pretty much did all of the reading for my thesis in the bath.鈥�

Do you read on the toilet?

Cressida cuts in

Chris and Gary splutter into their pints. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 so wrong?鈥� Jonathan demands looking affronted. 鈥淚t was a bit tricky at first, having to position the laptop on a stool next to the bath, but I鈥檝e got it down to a fine art.鈥�

鈥淚 watch movies in the bath now,鈥� he continues proudly. Gary looks incredulously at his recruit. 鈥淗ow many toilets do you have in your flat?鈥�

鈥淛ust the one,鈥� Jonathan sheepishly admits. 鈥淢y flatmates don鈥檛 really enjoy it when I have a bath. It is an art though,鈥� he insists. 鈥淎 film is about an hour and a half long, you鈥檝e got to keep the water hot for all that time. It has to be scalding at the start.鈥�

Cressida giggles and rolls her eyes. 鈥淩ight, so you might come out with third degree burns but at least you鈥檝e watched your movie.鈥�

Gary shakes his head in disbelief and mutters something about the thermo-dynamics of a bath.

A film is about an hour and a half long. You鈥檝e got to keep the water hot for all that time

Talk of baths leads to swimming and, bizarrely, to airports, as Gary tells us about a swimming pool he heard about in Singapore鈥檚 aerodrome. 鈥淚t was free for everyone to use. Imagine how nice it must be in between flights.鈥�

鈥淵eah, except then you have to come in and land at Heathrow,鈥� Chris laughs, triggering discussions to turn to T5 and how it鈥檚 faring, following its initial debacle with baggage.

Jonathan, however, is still pondering the benefits of pools in airports. 鈥淛ust imagine one at Heathrow,鈥� he muses.

鈥淵eah, it would be great,鈥� Gary chimes in. 鈥淵ou could get off the plane, have a good swim and nice long shower, change, have a coffee, and if you鈥檙e lucky your bags might have reached the carousel.鈥�

The table erupts into giggles and I head up to the bar for the next round, as remaining partner Kerstin Sonnemann and the rest of the practice鈥檚 team file into the pub.

Looks like we鈥檙e in for the long haul.