黑洞社区

A last minute change of venue leaves 黑洞社区 stumbling around the dark back streets of Smithfield trying to locate PRP Architects. The clang of names being dropped is the only clue.

锘縆atie claims she could feel the office shake as Christian Bale raced the Batmobile around Smithfield market. 鈥楾hat was a tube train,鈥� says Andrew

No sooner have we sat down than Andrew excitedly urges Zeke to tell us his sister is Andi Osho. Andrew鈥檚 enthusiasm is diminished, however, when he realises she鈥檚 not a contestant from the X-Factor but a comedian who鈥檚 been on Live at Apollo, Stand-up for the week.

It doesn鈥檛 stop there though. Before long everyone鈥檚 competing for the most notorious celebrity connections, everyone from Tony Blair to Michael Jackson or Steve Martin. Problem is though, they鈥檙e all just name sakes rather than the genuine article.

Anne Marie, however, is playing this game strategically. Her youngest son is鈥� er, Jack Nicholson. 鈥淚 like the name,鈥� she protests, 鈥渂ut the first time I was at the GP and they shouted out 鈥楯ack Nicholson鈥� I did cringe.鈥�

From this point the celebrity connections get even more tenuous. PRP are quite excited about the recent filming of the new Batman film in the area, but Katie鈥檚 assertion that she could feel the office shake as Christian Bale raced the Batmobile around the basement of Smithfield market is quickly dismissed. 鈥淭hat was a tube train,鈥� says Andrew.

Katie鈥檚 fantasies about the raw power of the Batmobile may be driven by a longing for her old 4x4, which she sold because Andrew was 鈥済iving me so much grief鈥� about the CO2 emissions - now she has a Fiat 500. The rest of PRP is incredulous at how she managed to clock up a speeding ticket in such a tiny car. 鈥淚t was wind assisted,鈥� says Zeke.

锘縋RP is incredulous at how Katie managed to clock up a speeding ticket in such a tiny car. 鈥業t was wind assisted,鈥� says Zeke

But Zeke doesn鈥檛 have much luck with transport himself. 鈥淎 few times I鈥檝e been drunk on the train to Kingston and ended up in Kempton Park. You know you鈥檒l sober up in the middle of winter in the Siberian chill,鈥� he says before reenacting a disorientated call he made to his wife. 鈥淐an you pick me up,鈥� he slurs. 鈥淚 can see a road and a race course. I don鈥檛 know where I am.鈥�

Later things get a bit weirder when Mel whips out her phone to show off her prized photo taken on a recent work trip with Andrew to Doha. The picture shows a mass of fluorescent chickens they found in a local market. 鈥淲e wondered where all these coloured eggs in the hotel were coming from,鈥� says Andrew.

黑洞社区 learns the fluorescent chicken market is booming in Qatar where there are apparently 鈥渨hole floors of them鈥� and considers investing, but is wary of having all our fluorescent eggs in one basket.