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Thankfully Jonathan and Matt suffer from no such inhibitions, and the conversation takes an almost immediate descent towards the subject of personal hygiene. Jonathan announces proudly that not only does he moisturise, but he also exfoliates.

鈥淟ook! I have dry skin, I need to,鈥� is his response to a rather scary disapproving look from 鈥淟urch鈥�. While Frank will not be drawn further on the issue, Matt happily admits to having no idea what exfoliation is.

I鈥檓 trying to work out exactly which of these alarming revelations is causing Helena鈥檚 horrified laughter when I catch sight of Frank鈥檚 stern face and suddenly feel a lot more sober.

The conversation moves on swiftly to triathlons 鈥� Matt and Jonathan are soon to compete in one. This probably explains why Matt, staring down at the empty glass that contained his fourth pint of Guinness, has the look of someone who has left his baby on a train (he has four children so it鈥檚 entirely possible he鈥檚 been there). He vows to have a coke next.

The words 鈥渉orse鈥� and 鈥渂olted鈥� are mentioned, but we plough on regardless.

This brave act of abstinence goes some way to backing up Matt鈥檚 claim that he鈥檚 a bit of a veteran triathlete. The way Jonathan is knocking back the drinks suggests he might be taking the contest less seriously.

Indeed, Helena reveals, helpfully, that Jonathan鈥檚 sporting achievements so far have been confined to 鈥渙nce achieving poll position at a go-carting track鈥�.

We turn to training tactics 鈥� specifically, how to avoid jogger鈥檚 nipple?

鈥淎voiding jogging in the first place works,鈥� suggests Jonathan. 鈥淲hat you want is a couple of plasters and some Vaseline,鈥� offers Matt confidently.

Frank points out that you can鈥檛 use both at once: 鈥淭he plaster won鈥檛 stick on Vaseline.鈥� Everyone agrees this is a fair point. I am beginning to see what Helena meant earlier when she said: 鈥淔rank doesn鈥檛 say much, but when he does, it has real gravitas.鈥�

The evening takes a surreal turn when Jonathan suggests we play the board game Operation. We all agree that this is an absolutely fantastic idea and, incredibly, we occupy the next one-and-a-half hours attempting to tweezer out plastic bones from the cardboard image of a naked surgical patient without touching the sides and setting off the red buzzer. Hilarious. By the time the lights come on in The Tabernacle, even Frank looks a bit pleased.