黑洞社区

Paul has a problem, it emerges. On this reasonably balmy summer鈥檚 evening in Apsley, it quickly becomes the main topic of conversation. He has just three days to score enough plants and flowers to fill a battered Honda estate. At minimal cost. Can I help him, he asks 鈥� do I have contacts within the horticultural press? Alas, no. And our cumbersome print deadlines mean that by the time you read this, the moment will already have passed, so even raising awareness cannot aid him. I feel helpless.

Paul, part of newbie sustainability consultant Inbuilt鈥檚 housing team, has been the victim of a particularly dastardly crime 鈥� mass plant theft.

Paul seems confident he鈥檒l be able to beg or borrow the equisite foliage from somewhere

And it鈥檚 not just his window boxes that have suffered. Paul had been working up his entry for an event at the London Festival of Architecture, where contestants were invited to find 鈥渄ifferent ways of looking at the car parking space鈥�. Paul鈥檚 idea: create a 鈥渃ar park鈥�. In other words, cut the roof off an old Honda estate, rip off the bonnet and fill it with greenery. It is an art installation he has been preparing with friends, in conjunction with South London community charity New Leaf.

But, after he carefully selected the right flowers and shrubs from Columbia Road flower market in Bethnal Green last week 鈥� for a whole 拢100 鈥� the whole lot was nabbed from the white van he was storing them in. As a Brixton resident, he is keen to stress the theft occurred in Bethnal Green. Nevertheless, he is clearly distressed: Columbia Road market is only open on Sundays, and he just can鈥檛 afford garden centre prices.

Apparently James, who can鈥檛 make it this evening, gets to work by canoe each morning

At this point Nick unhelpfully chuckles that he should have put a sign on the van: 鈥淣o plant left in overnight.鈥� I offer some of 黑洞社区鈥檚 (minimal) expenses budget as a contribution 鈥� but alas there is nowhere nearby where 黑洞社区 can Buy Inbuilt a Plant. Anyway, somehow Paul seems confident he鈥檒l be able to beg or borrow the requisite foliage from somewhere.

Getting to know the rest of the Inbuilt team, Paul鈥檚 predicament does not seem so unusual 鈥� they really seem pretty green all over. Apparently James, who can鈥檛 make it this evening, gets to Inbuilt鈥檚 Kings Langley offices by canoe each morning. Most others, such as Rick, seem to run or cycle. And they鈥檝e all just got back from a company bonding day 鈥� a treasure hunt in some of Hertfordshire鈥檚 best-kept gardens.

To cap it all, even the office competition is organic: there is fierce rivalry over who can grow the tallest sunflower. Someone asks Danny 鈥渉ow big is yours?鈥� and it all starts to get a bit Carry On. The answer, if you鈥檙e interested? Not as big as Sam鈥檚. His is six foot.