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It turns out the place was one of the last ones in the UK to get Australian walnut walls and probably has one of the longest bars in London, after the revamped St Pancras station. It also sells vodka tonics for 拢7.25 a go.

So, what is there to chat about on a grim Tuesday evening? Blackberrys, of course. 鈥淢alcolm thinks it鈥檚 a fruit. He has no idea about technology,鈥� Melanie informs me. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 have to,鈥� he excuses himself. 鈥淎ll the young ones are doing it for me. I鈥檓 the MD 鈥� all I have to do is show my face every now and then and tell everyone what to do."

"My four-year-old daughter knows more about programming our DVD player than me, it鈥檚 scary,鈥� Martin One adds.

Martin Two is not impressed by the line of conversation. He鈥檇 rather share his tales from back in the days when he made a bundle from kitchen drawings: 鈥淧eople were crazy about them in the eighties.鈥�

This reminds Melanie that she needs to get a shatter-proof kitchen. 鈥淭hey鈥檝e discovered most arguments happen in the kitchen, so they鈥檝e now made shatter-proof drawers and cupboard doors,鈥� she says.

Malcolm is not as excited about the concept: 鈥淒o they also proof kitchens against angry wives throwing cutlery?鈥� Er, nope.

What should Martin One call his baby son, due in a few weeks? Martin Three? No, Martin three is the gay guy in the Gina Shoes shop, the one on Bond Street that Barker fitted out as well. This was the most difficult time in Melanie鈥檚 life. 鈥淲e were holding executive meetings in the shop, in between all these sparkling shoes, all in my size! I couldn鈥檛 concentrate to save my life.鈥�

Nick found it equally hard to concentrate when the girls from Hollyoaks came to the opening of a clients鈥� karaoke bar in Manchester. 鈥淗e was dancing in leather shorts and had every girl鈥檚 attention when he bragged about having designed the place,鈥� Malcolm says.

But what Malcolm gets excited about is their contribution to T5. 鈥淲e鈥檙e building BA鈥檚 VIP lounge, where the Beckhams will hang out. Every day, 6,000 people will be going in and out of there,鈥� he says proudly.

Martin One also seems to be quite fond of his employer. 鈥淚 really want to make one thing clear: we listen to our clients and value their feedback. The key word is transparency 鈥︹�� It may be the JDs taking hold, but he is clearly getting quite emotional and as he approaches Nick to give him a co-workerly peck on the cheek, Nick鈥檚 expression is more than clear: time to go home.