黑洞社区

I set off to meet Cushman & Wakefield with the shocking revelations from the RICS young surveyors鈥� ball ringing in my ears. The prospect of having a pint with a gang of young surveyors is, frankly, intimidating.

Fortunately, none of them are drunk when I arrive. 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, we鈥檙e not going to kick off,鈥� reassures Will.

鈥淭he RICS ball, the Matrics ball?鈥� asks Keval, somewhat hazily. 鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 that bad 鈥︹��

But what about the furniture throwing, what about the nudity?

鈥淥h yeah! There was a fire! It was a really, really good night,鈥� he recalls.

But you didn鈥檛 remember it until now? 鈥淚 was too hammered.鈥�

He tries to backpedal: 鈥淎ctually, I was only told about the fire 鈥︹�� The conversation moves on to Cushman & Wakefield鈥檚 competitors, who were of course up to a lot worse.

鈥淒TZ?鈥� says Gerald. 鈥淒ead Trembling Zombies?鈥� His younger colleagues are shocked.

鈥淚鈥檓 allowed to say that because I鈥檓 grumpy and I鈥檝e been here years,鈥� he explains.

鈥淎nd he鈥檚 got another source of income,鈥� interjects Will.

Gerald is a keen and successful poker player, as it happens. His biggest single win was 拢12,000 back in March and his next goal is to compete in the World Series in Las Vegas in July. Too bad it costs $10,000 to enter.

You don鈥檛 win that kind of money by napping 鈥� Gerald sleeps only four hours a night and answers his emails while watching baseball at 4am.

He also plays a lot of online poker and claims it gives him the edge in business dealings. 鈥淎 couple of times I鈥檝e met people and walked away. I wouldn鈥檛 trust them as far as I can spit. Later on, people who did work with them have got stuffed. Lie detectors are OK, but there鈥檚 nothing to beat cold, hard, gut feelings.鈥�

At that point, the gut feeling of the table is that they all, as one man, need peanuts.

It鈥檚 not strictly in the contract, but 黑洞社区 makes an exception 鈥� we don鈥檛 want them turning nasty. Dry roasted all round? Disappointment for Daffyd 鈥� they don鈥檛 do cashews 鈥� and Keval is wracked with indecision, but he finally opts for cheese-and-onion crisps as well. There鈥檚 a slick of snacks covering the table.

Gerald goes outside to take a tortuous London-Milan-New York conference call, and gets hit in the face by a suspected shoplifter running from a police community support officer. That鈥檚 extreme consultancy.

鈥淲hen I was in the army, I was good at problem-solving under fire,鈥� he says. 鈥淭here鈥檚 no hiding your personality when you鈥檙e under fire,鈥� comments Will sagely.

鈥淚鈥檝e seen the best of people, the worst of people, the dark side of humanity,鈥� continues Gerald.

The conversation turns to crime. Will says a guy called Alan in the office was conned into accepting a watch from a man in the street as security for a 拢20 loan.

鈥淗e waited around in the office until seven o鈥檆lock for the guy to ring him.鈥� He didn鈥檛 call, so Alan has a new watch. 鈥淗e says, 鈥業t鈥檚 a nice one, it鈥檚 Fila鈥�.鈥�

鈥淗e doesn鈥檛 even wear a watch usually,鈥� adds Daffyd.