黑洞社区

Possibly the coldest day of the year so far and the team from architect HLM are wisely ensconced in a Camden bar with a bottle of red wine.

Sophie, shivering in the corner, announces that, if she wasn鈥檛 doing her job, she鈥檇 really like to own an island and be so rich she wouldn鈥檛 have to work again.

Emily looks sceptical. 鈥淲ouldn鈥檛 you get bored?鈥� she asks.

Sophie thinks this through and decides to change tack. 鈥淚 also wanted to be a barrister when I was growing up,鈥� she begins cautiously. 鈥淚t was my parents鈥� idea, really. My dad said that because I talk so much, I鈥檇 win every case because they鈥檇 just want me to shut up.鈥�

After that touching family anecdote, Bruce pipes up with his own alternative career plan.

鈥淚 wanted to own a scrapyard,鈥� he says, straight-faced.

鈥淚 like life at a scrapyard,鈥� he adds, by way of justification. 鈥淚 could tinker around with cars all day, scavenging for rare parts 鈥�I鈥檇 even have a scrapyard

dog 鈥� to protect me from danger.鈥� He looks into the distance wistfully.

鈥淎nd there I was thinking he was going to say DJ,鈥� murmurs Lucy.

Emily, it turns out, had two professional ambitions before succumbing to her current career. The first, she says deadpan, was to be a professional punk and fulfil a lifelong ambition to sport a mohican hairstyle.

She had it all planned out: move to New York, tie her hair back as she works as a nanny during the day, then punk it up at night.

The alternative plan was to be a farmer, so she could drive tractors all day long.

鈥淭here was a buffalo farm up the road from where I grew up,鈥� Lucy interjects. 鈥淚鈥檝e always wondered 鈥� what happens if you don鈥檛 milk an animal when it needs it?鈥�

David, the oldest person present, knows the answer. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like with a woman,鈥� he says wisely. 鈥淚f they stop breast feeding, the milk just stops. They don鈥檛 get bigger and bigger until they explode.鈥�

As the rest of the group ponders this image, David seizes the opportunity to say what he would be doing if he didn鈥檛 design buildings 鈥� he鈥檇 design humans instead.

The rest of the group are stunned into silence, giving David free rein to explain that creating people is the ultimate design challenge. It transpires that the sci-fi classic Blade Runner has had a large influence on his choice of alternative career.

With that, we lose Bruce and David to another world 鈥� one where beautiful replicants matter more than buildings.