黑洞社区

The question is directed pointedly at Francine (Forcia鈥檚 business development director), who opens her mouth to speak but immediately is prevented from doing so by Bernard, who says: 鈥淚t鈥檚 just drinking isn鈥檛 it?鈥�

Francine: 鈥淓r, well, that鈥檚 part of it, but 鈥� "

Bernard: 鈥淵eah, and the rest of it is eating and socialising!鈥�

Francine is looking rather offended now but Terry comes to the rescue: 鈥淎h, come on Bernard, where would we be without Francine?鈥�

That鈥檚 just a polite way of saying she works with a load of bald guys

鈥淥h stop it Terry, I鈥檓 feeling sick,鈥� says Bernard, looking straight at Francine with his eyes narrowed into a squint.

All this vitriol would seem a bit much if it wasn鈥檛 for the fact that Bernard is Francine鈥檚 brother and they have known the two other directors, who are gathered here in the pub next door to their office, since they were all at school.

Once Bernard and Francine leave off having a go at each other, we get round to a meatier discussion on the predominance of men in the industry 鈥� which brings us straight back to the thorny subject of Francine鈥檚 job. She says part of it involves 鈥渟pending a lot of time with intelligent men, talking about business鈥�.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 just a polite way of saying she works with a load of bald guys,鈥� says Terry.

Mulling over Swayze鈥檚 back catalogue, we agree we liked Point Break, but not Dirty Dancing (please don鈥檛 write in...)

Diplomatically, Francine switches the conversation into a less controversial area: Patrick Swayze (a man with a fine head of hair), of whose death the world has learned today. Mulling over his back catalogue, we agree we liked Point Break but not Dirty Dancing (please don鈥檛 write in 鈥�). We鈥檙e divided on Ghost, however, which brings us to Demi Moore. Lance asks, 鈥淗asn鈥檛 she had loads of surgery?鈥�

Terry has a less painful explanation: 鈥淪he鈥檚 definitely been on the Oil of Ulay, that one.鈥�

鈥淚t鈥檚 called Oil of Olay these days,鈥� Francine informs him, which prompts a collective moment of nostalgia as we remember the Avon lady and Tupperware parties. But just as Terry is warming dangerously to the subject of Anne Summers gatherings, the food arrives and distracts him.

This being a non-gastro pub, most of the nosh is deep fried and as Bernard piles in, Francine warns him, 鈥淭his isn鈥檛 good for your health鈥�. This has absolutely no effect on Bernard, who continues ploughing into the chips with gusto, dipping a choice few in not only ketchup but also mayonnaise. Francine threatens, 鈥淏ernard, I鈥檒l tell -鈥� and you鈥檙e half expecting 鈥淢um鈥� - but she actually says 鈥測our wife鈥�.

Then she notices the time and informs the lads that, speaking of wives, it is in fact high time they went home to their other halves. Lance thinks he may have finally worked out what business development is. 鈥淚s it the job of saving our marriages?鈥�