黑洞社区

From bad to verse

Anyone annoyed by references to green shoots in the national press may find a kindred spirit in the latest quarterly report by housing analyst 黑洞社区 Value. Despite all the talk of April sunshine and good cheer, which sent housebuilders stocks up 43% last month, author Tony Williams chose Dylan Thomas to provide the foreword for the piece. He tempers the market exuberance with Mrs Ogmore-Pritchard鈥檚 line from Under Milk Wood 鈥� 鈥渂efore you let the sun in, mind it wipes its shoes鈥�. You know things are bad if you鈥檙e having to quote a man who drank himself to death at the age of 39 鈥� one wonders who Williams will use as inspiration next quarter. Leonard Cohen?

Now where did I put that 拢50,000?

Could Brian Gillies be the most optimistic man in the UK? In the same week that the chancellor announced that the economy was in its worst state for several generations, the Scots businessman chose to launch a commercial property fund. Gillies may be starting small 鈥� he is trying to raise a trifling 拢30m 鈥� but investors still need to stump up at least 拢50,000. Gillies鈥� company is named Alchemist. Given that anyone with that much cash is stuffing it into their mattress, I only hope he doesn鈥檛 end up with fools鈥� gold.

That鈥檚 rich

The industry will have been indulging in plenty of schadenfreude this week thanks to the publication of the Sunday Times Rich List 2009. Some of construction鈥檚 biggest names have been diminished by the recession. Worst off is poor old Sir Anthony Bamford, the JCB owner, whose family鈥檚 wealth plummeted 拢1bn in the past year. Other big losers include Keith Miller, down 拢550m, and Ray O鈥橰ourke, down 拢200m. Good news, though, for the Candy brothers, whose wealth was, at 拢330m, more than 拢200m higher. The brothers鈥� firm celebrated by taking out a double-page ad in the Rich List supplement for its One Hyde Park scheme. Though judging by the falling value of almost everyone else鈥檚 assets, you wonder who in Britain has the readies to buy a 拢100m apartment 鈥�

DIY building 黑洞社区鈥檚 front cover image last month of Paul Hamer, the straight-talking chief operating officer brought in to steady the White Young Green ship, inspired one wag to write in, amending the picture with a slightly different headline to the one we used. The wit decided to remain anonymous, but the postage shows that it originated in Glasgow, a city where WYG has a fairly significant presence. It couldn鈥檛 be that someone in the firm鈥檚 Scots contingent has had their nose put out of joint by Hamer鈥檚 appointment, could it?

The Sheikhmobile

My colleague reports back from the Cityscape Abu Dhabi exhibition on how the Sheikh deals with the old problem of 鈥渃onference foot鈥� 鈥� that is, the fact that you tend to stand up all day at these events and end up with extremely sore tootsies. At Cityscape, Sheikh Mohammed suffered no such indignity. Instead, he was carted around the giant exhibition by golf buggy. It was strangely disappointing, though, to hear that, in contrast to most vehicles favoured by the UAE royals, it didn鈥檛 have blacked-out windows.

The ice girls

Women have really come a long way since the sexist seventies and eighties, but you wouldn鈥檛 know it from a press release from the 鈥淚ce Angels鈥�, promoting what they call 鈥淐hillout Friday鈥�. This, it seems, is intended to 鈥渓iven up the office environment鈥�. So what is it? Er, dolly birds handing out ice creams, it seems. 鈥淎ngels can be dressed and styled to match any corporate colours and style,鈥� apparently. I don鈥檛 think that鈥檚 quite what they mean by Women in Property, is it?