黑洞社区

鈥淲e normally only come in here to go to the gym 鈥� honest,鈥� says Phil as we duck out of the biting December wind into the cafe in the leisure centre opposite Curtins鈥� Merseyside headquarters. 鈥淚s that why nobody here knows your name then?鈥� enquires Emma.

鈥淭here鈥檚 a brewery up the road,鈥� continues Phil, perhaps aware that I鈥檝e noticed that the cafe doesn鈥檛 serve alcohol. 鈥淏ut we鈥檝e got a board meeting at 5pm this afternoon,鈥� he adds anxiously.

It might be my imagination but this lot seem to be reneging on their part of the 黑洞社区-buys-a-pint deal. I soon discover why. 鈥淲e were at our staff Christmas party on Saturday night,鈥� says Les, who鈥檚 the Liverpool office boss. 鈥淚t was an Elvis-themed night.鈥�

Was there any karaoke? 鈥淲hy do you think Les sounds so croaky?鈥� asks Steve. 鈥淗e only got his voice back this morning.鈥�

The plot thickens when it emerges that there are some risqu茅 photos of Emma on the office camera. 鈥淣ot so much 鈥楤uys a pint鈥� as page three,鈥� says Steve.

Realising the conversation is entering dangerous waters, Rob takes the wheel and steers us on to something even more controversial: football. He immediately regrets this when he remembers that Anthony and Steve are both 鈥渂luenoses鈥� (that is, Everton fans). Rob is still feeling the pain of Liverpool鈥檚 loss the previous day to Manchester United. Fellow Red Phil gets in his defence early: 鈥淲e鈥檝e still got more trophies than Man United.鈥�

The coffee arrives at this point and everyone gets a good laugh at the person who has ordered the latte in a tall glass. 鈥淒o you want a cherry with that?鈥� asks Rob as he passes me the drink.

Luckily talk turns to the company caravans (allowing me time to down my coffee and remove it from the firing line). 鈥淲henever you mention it people start sniggering, but it is really popular,鈥� says Rob. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a quirky thing that we鈥檝e done since Bill Curtin founded the business. It鈥檚 not really meant for directors, more for the rest of the team. We鈥檝e got two: one in Exmouth and one in the Lake District 鈥撯��

Phil interrupts: 鈥淵eah, now we鈥檝e got a new one in the Lake District the chief exec鈥檚 going to use it.鈥� Rob: 鈥淵eah, it鈥檒l be double-glazed, central-heated 鈥︹�� Phil: 鈥溾�� and structurally sound!鈥� They are engineers after all.

They are also all proud Scousers and can鈥檛 let me leave without telling a joke. After racking their brains for a clean one, Rob rolls out an old favourite: 鈥淒id you hear the police found a suspicious car at John Lennon Airport the other day? Yeah, apparently it had a tax disc, all its wheels and the radio hadn鈥檛 been nicked.鈥�