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鈥淚鈥檓 going to get my ferret, paint stripes down its side and make a fortune,鈥� says Gordon, with a degree of confidence that seems in distinct contrast to the facts. He has been reading about the toyger, a small domestic cat that鈥檚 bred to look vaguely like a tiger, and it鈥檚 given him a plan for his own pet, Freddy the ferret.

鈥淭his woman found a tabby cat, spent 15 years cross-breeding it, and now they reckon they鈥檙e going to sell them for 拢500,鈥� he explains.

Apparently, even when they鈥檙e not painted to look like big cats, ferrets make lovely pets. 鈥淢ore people should have ferrets,鈥� says Gordon. 鈥淭hey do smell a bit, but they like a bath.鈥�

Sinead seems unconvinced by this last ferret fact. 鈥淐an they swim?鈥� she asks. Worryingly, Gordon doesn鈥檛 seem to know.

While we wonder whether Freddy is in safe hands, Sinead turns the talk to another unusual pet, her mum鈥檚 leonberger, which apparently is a type of enormous dog. 鈥淪he bought it for my brother and said she was never going to have it in the house, but now she treats it like a child. It鈥檚 the size of two labradors.鈥�

鈥淲hat, stood on top of each other?鈥� asks Ceri. Apparently not, it turns out, but still some way ahead of Freddy the painted ferret in the league of scary pets.

From the laws of the animal kingdom, it is not a huge leap to the dog-eats-dog world of high politics, and so it is that conversation turns to the day鈥檚 other big news story 鈥� the ousting of Ming. Ceri reckons the age of the grand old statesman may be gone. 鈥淵ounger people don鈥檛 listen unquestioningly just because someone鈥檚 older. If some old fart is just rambling on, they don鈥檛 really see how he鈥檚 connected with them.鈥�

So if politicians are past it at 66, who should we have leading the country? The idea of a joint administration run by Ant and Dec is mooted, with the 鈥渞est of the cast of Byker Grove in the Cabinet鈥�, but the age-old problem of telling the pint-sized TV presenters apart is seen as a drawback. 鈥淪omeone like Carol Vorderman?鈥� suggests Ceri, before immediately realising the true horror of what she鈥檚 saying.

It鈥檚 also unclear how the job would fit in with Vorderman鈥檚 Countdown commitments.

Gordon points out that unlike politics (but in common with Countdown), construction is a haven for the older person. 鈥淚n the eighties, it was all about young go-getters. There鈥檚 a lot more demand for people who know what they鈥檙e doing now. But I鈥檝e got to say that because I鈥檓 51 tomorrow 鈥︹��

Ming, if you鈥檙e reading this, get down to your local site 鈥� there鈥檚 hope for you yet.